I'm @ the end of my rope. I see that it's over but I needed to see him again. Never knew it would end like this. I imagined a much happier ending...okay, i never imagined an ending @ all. Disappointment is no stranger. He rears his ugly head again...this time, I wasn't prepared. I thought this time was different. At least it felt that way and that's why I was so willing to break the rules. I guess rules are rules for a reason...but I'm a rebel, right?
And so now what???? Back in his arms again and it feels so good. *sigh* Tears stream as I try to hide them. We don't talk about feelings...we just don't. We don't talk. How am I surviving this? Another relationship where I can't see myself...can't be myself. When does it end?
So I ask myself "Why am I here?" LOVE...Why??? Why did God design me to LOVE this way?? Why?? Why did God design me to LOVE "HIM" this way? I thought I was able to walk away from anything. I guess this another lesson..that I, obviously, haven't learned..
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